When you're a little girl, you have dreams. The same is probably true for little boys...I don't know, I was never a little boy. But a little girl dreams of many things.
She dreams of what she's going to "be" when she grows up. She dreams of being a singer as she dances around the room singing her favorite songs into her hairbrush or other makeshift microphone. She dreams of being a movie star as she puts on plays with her siblings, cousins and friends. She performs for her adoring public, which largely consists of whatever stuffed animals and family members can be corralled at the time. She dreams of being a fashion designer as she spends hours creating a million and one looks for her barbies to show off, and never actually gets around to playing with the dolls. She dreams of being a baker as she helps her grandmother create little cinnamon rolls from the leftover pie crusts, as the scent of the apple or blackberry or strawberry rhubarb pies in the oven fill the air and make her tummy rumble. She dreams of being a mommy as she bathes, feeds, changes, burps, and rocks to sleep each one of her baby dolls.
As she gets older, the dreams change. She dreams of getting into the college of her choice, preferably alongside at least one of her best friends, and if she can swing it her boyfriend as well. She dreams of being a lawyer or a doctor or the CEO of some corporation or another, because those are the jobs that pay. She dreams of marrying the man of her dreams...whom she is absolutely sure is the boy she spent the last week in detention for, because she was late for class due to one too many hallway kisses. She dreams of the kind of house she will have. A killer apartment in the city, with amazing views and fantastic quirky neighbors and the best takeout within walking distance. Or a sprawling 5 bedroom home in the country, yellow with black shutters, complete with a dog and porch swing. It really all depends on her mood that week.
And then...something happens. She changes, or the dreams change, or the people surrounding her change, or the world itself changes. She's no longer sure what she wants to be, or more accurately...if she has what it takes to be what she wants to be. She wants to change the world...but sometimes finds it difficult to even negotiate peace between toddlers. She wants to do something...to be someone...worthwhile. But she's not even sure she remembers what worthwhile feels like. She stays awake at night trying to figure out how to get from Point A to Point B while still maintaining the life that she currently lives, the life she loves.
"Dream, send me a sign. turn back the clock...give me some time. I need to break out...make a new name..." listen to Brand New Day
She still sings along to her favorite songs, but the pretend microphone is gone. She no longer dreams of being a singer, but instead does everything she can to promote the artists she believes in. ( rstar.net )
She no longer dreams of being a movie star, but relishes each musical/play her kids are part of, and longs for the days she will be driving them to rehearsals and sitting front row in future productions, all the while secretly hoping they have a passion for the performing arts.
She no longer dreams of being a baker, but she spends hours online planning exactly what kind of birthday cakes she will make for the kids next parties. She spends hours making homemade fondant and buttercream frosting, and assembling the cakes that don't quite look like the ones in her head, but aren't too shabby either.
She no longer dreams of marrying the man of her dreams, but instead loves the man she married, with all her heart.
She still has dreams though.... She no longer dreams of having the perfect house, but instead dreams of exactly how and when the bathroom can be remodeled. She no longer dreams of having the best paying job, but instead dreams of finding a job that makes her happy. She no longer dreams of changing the world, but dreams of changing it for a few people. She dreams of the non-profit she wants to start, that saves the futures (and possibly the lives) of hopeless kids, through the love of music.
The most important thing is... she still dreams.
"She likes New York at night. She dreams of running away. Shine on, bright like the sun, when even the sky turns gray..."listen to Breathe
"When you see Ryan perform live, and see the reaction of the crowd, you realize the lyrics to Breathe connect with listeners in a way we haven't seen in a while. People are looking for a positive message right now, and Breathe delivers." -Dylan Sprague - PD - KALC (Alice 105.9) - Denver
People often ask me what the big deal is with Ryan Star. Is he a family member? Or a friend? Why do I talk or write so much about him and his music? The easy answers are...no...sorta...and because i like it. But the truth of the matter is...I look at him kinda like a big brother. He makes me (and countless others) FEEL like we are friends. His music is overflowing with emotion and honesty, one can't help but connect with it. Anyone who has had the pleasure of spending a fair amount of time with Ryan, knows that he is kind, and funny, and intelligent, and insanely dorky, and incredibly down to earth. He just happens to have been blessed with an enormous talent, and I can assure you, he doesn't waste his gift. Not for one second of one day.
THIS is why I do it. THIS is why I will vote in any poll, share any songs or videos, request his music on radio, talk about it to anyone who will really listen. Because it really is great to see the good guy win. :)
PLEASE, take a second to watch Ryan Star's video for his song Breathe
Ryan Star is a New York rocker, who is doing his best to change the world we live in. He has been playing music since age 14, his first gig at CBGB's when he was 15! He has had moderate success in a band, as well as solo. He was on the hit television show Rockstar:Supernova, and though he was eliminated before the top 3, he was voted back as the fan favorite, for an encore performance. He is currently signed with Atlantic records, and has a new album coming out at the top of the year. But what makes him different than all the other "rockstars" trying to make it in the industry? He is HELPING people. His current single is called "Breathe" and the song alone has helped thousands emotionally. But lets get more real than that... he has just released the music video for "Breathe" and it is really something special. The video focuses on the very real problem of unemployment our country is currently facing. All of the people in the video are REAL unemployed people, displaying their job qualifications on posters throughout the video. Going one step further, Ryan set up a new website in conjunction with the video release, www.breathe4jobs.com Through the website, potential employers can contact those in the video with job offers. Ryan debuted this new music video on CNN.com, not MTV or VH1, because it is more than just a music video...it is REAL PEOPLE needing help. He has also been featured on some local NY NBC affiliates to discuss this new video and website. His music has been featured on movie soundtracks, television promos, and even as the theme song for the hit FOX show Lie To Me. Most recently, his song Breathe has been featured during the Yankees playoffs. (BOO...go Red Sox! :P ) I can tell you personally, after having the pleasure of seeing him perform several times, and talking with him several times...he is the real deal, and his music has changed my life. visit www.breathe4jobs.com
to learn more about Ryan Star and listen to his music, visit: www.rstar.net and www.myspace.com/rstar
Originally posted about 6 months ago, April 20, 2009.
Ok, so...I don't really know who all wants to hear this, and who doesn't. I also don't remember who I've told, and who I haven't. SO.... if you don't care about this, or have already heard it, feel free to say goodbye now :P
NEWSFLASH:
I kinda like Ryan Star :P
The first time I saw Ryan perform in Knoxville, I was in trouble... surely I don't need ANOTHER crazy talented musician in my life, eating up my time/money/sanity. But alas.... resistance WAS futile..I couldn't help myself.
Last Wednesday, Ryan announced that he would be back in Memphis on Saturday (April 18th) to do a set at a record store there, as part of the nationwide Record Store Days festivities...and then my plan to attend said event was hatched. I needed a little bit more information, and with the help of Twitter and Mr. Ryan Star himself, soon nailed down as many of the particulars as I would ever know. And thus, on Saturday, Matthew and I found ourselves in the car for 5 hours on a lovely little day trip to Memphis. Matthew was such a good sport...didn't complain TOO much :P He also was designated official videographer, so that i could actually enjoy the show more. There are no less than 10 videos showcasing his (slightly) handiwork. We arrived... and I panicked. I don't know why... he's just a dude. A dude whose music I both respect and feel an emotional connection to. And he's pretty laid back, down to earth, etc. But I had a really hard time mustering the nerve to talk to him. Would have been better if I had some of my girls with me!
Anyway, the set... was AMAZING. Very small intimate crowd...maybe 25 people. He played 9 songs...and I've never counted but I do believe that is more than he plays opening for David Cook. He started with Brand New Day. I proceeded to take a quick pic with my cell, to send to Steph and Twitter :P I also took a few pics with my camera. Matthew was in charge of video as i previously stated. I called Steph, to let her have a bit of a cell cast :) After he finished the song, he started into Right Now. I noticed that the call to Steph had disconnected, so i tried to get her back on the line. During his intro to Right Now, he said that this song was about this, right here. Living in the now. He looked at me and said, it's not about your cell phone, or your camera. It's the opposite of that. The opposite of that. It's about this right here. Needless to say, I put my phone away for the duration! SORRY STEPH! And it's a good thing I did, because it truly enabled me to enjoy the music and form a connection that I otherwise may have missed. Which was his goal in calling me out, so hey, i guess it worked!
He performed my favorites... "Breathe" and "Losing Your Memory" with even a cameo appearance by "So Ordinary". He did a cover of Nine Inch Nail's "Head Like a Hole" that was.... haunting. In the best way. He did "Psycho Suicidal Girl" which is one of my favorite live songs, just because it's so fun! He did "Sink or Swim" which I don't think he gets to do very often on David Cook's tour, if at all.
There was some banter...more than I've ever heard out of him at David's shows! Someone's cell phone rang, and he waited for her to take the call before continuing. When she hung up, he asked her if everything was ok. She said it was her children's (she had a little boy and girl there... 5- 7) grandmother, just checking to make sure he hadn't run off with them, lol! Ryan talked about how he always tries to be pretty chill around little kids, cause he doesn't want to scare them. He referenced a movie he watched as a child, and how there was a scary guy that tackled Santa Claus...said it was horrifying! And he always has made an effort to never be the "scary guy". He talked about his albums, old and new. He mentioned that he wrote the old album in 20 something days. And it was basically...here are the songs, not overproduced. GREAT ALBUM by the way ;) Anyway, he said that Losing Your Memory (from said great album) will also be on the new album (due this summer). He said, he's really excited for us to hear it, because it's finally fully realized. He said most of the time when he listens to his music, he's mainly just hearing what's wrong with it, or what should be changed. But with the new Losing Your Memory, it's just finally, and totally realized...exactly how he first imagined it. I thought that was pretty freaking cool! He also said that the song changes meaning to him every year or so..and that it's great because it means something else entirely to each of us. Which is really what it's all about, isn't it? Anyway, the song was amazing. It was a request by the way, from one of the people in the crowd. He asked if there were any more requests before he played his final song. He asked ME if I had any request. I believe he said something along the lines of "What about you, Ryan Star shirt-wearer" with a wink. YES, I wore his shirt. YES I felt like a billboard all day long, lol. But it's all good...it was a cold rainy day, perfect for a nice comfy long sleeved shirt with RYAN STAR NEW YORK CITY emblazoned all over it :P I couldn't have requested a song if I had wanted to. How does one pick a single song? I want to hear them all! Of course, NOW I can think of a few that I wish he had sung...but in the moment, I was just content with everything he'd thrown at us up until then.
THEN came "Back of Your Car". And he proceeded to take off all of his clothes, just like the song says.
Ok, not really...but it's good to see that you are still paying attention :P He DID take off his jacket, and button down so that he was in just a t shirt. And pants. On my video, when he starts stripping, you'll hear Matthew whistle :P
And then, he had forgotten to play the single, Last Train Home, so he ended with it. And it was perfect. After it was over I turned to Matthew, and asked him if it had lived up to what I had been going on about all week. He said he REALLY LIKED IT. Which may not seem like high praise, but from Matthew, it is, LOL! Matthew headed over toward the table where Ryan would be signing, while I helped a father and his daughter find Ryan Star's CD to purchase :P You know me....
I called Steph back at this point, to apologize for not being ALLOWED to give her a cellcast :P Had to fill her in on all the details, including what he was wearing, lol. And then it was my turn in line. I was still holding my cell, with Steph still on the line, and he sort of looked at my phone and smiled. I said... Look. I was just trying to let my friend hear your set because she couldn't come and ... He interrupted me to say... Wait...so basically the end of this story is...will I talk to your friend on the phone? I said.. well, I wasn't going to ask that, but actually YEAH. So, he took the phone and talked to Steph for a couple minutes. Somehow she continued breathing. He ended by saying that he'd get her info from me regarding twitter, because he's been saying for a while that he would try to follow her. He made a joke about getting her phone number from me too, LOL! If only he weren't married, Steph :P
Ryan signed my CD, and OF COURSE, even though I told him how to spell my name, he spelled it wrong. I'm SO TOTALLY giving him crap for that next time. Anyway, he wrote "Heidi, Always good for a phone call! Keep listening. Ryan Star"
Yeah, apparently I'll never live the phone thing down.
Then, I had a mission.... I need Kelly Urich to play Ryan Star's single on kcradio.com. He wont, until it gets more radio airplay. But Andrew has been playing it on his show for the last two weeks... I think Kelly might be weakening. Anyway, I asked Ryan if he would mind taking a picture with my kcradio.com magnet, and I can use it to pressure Kelly more into playing his single. I believe his exact words were "Oh, I am SO down with that!" He made some mean faces with the magnet, Artie (guitarist) took a pic BITING the magnet, and then Ryan made a gangsta pose with it. All in all, good fun, and I hope Kelly likes the pics :)
Matthew told Ryan that he had been forced to listen to his Album for 4 hours on the way there, and Ryan said "That's what I like to hear! Force-feeding my music!" And then Matthew said "She even has all this like...bootleg kind of stuff (meaning the lovely mp3's that Mandy has made for us!) and Ryan said..."Awesome! I'm glad that it's all getting heard." So he asked Matthew if he could sign a poster for him or something, LMAO. Matthew just laughed and was like...whatever, sure. So Ryan defaced his poster, drew an eye patch on himself, some extra scruff, etc, and then signed it for Matthew.
We decided to leave him alone after that, and he told me to write down steph's twitter info, so he could try to follow her. He also had a quick conversation with Matthew about an album he (matthew) had in his hand to purchase. He was re-buying Pearl Jam's Ten because he lost his hard copy. Ryan asked him if he was just now buying it, or replacing it. He told us that was the album that made him really want to make music.
Ryan went off to take care of business. Literally, see about getting PAID and such. While I found something to write Steph's info on. After I had it written down, I had to go off and find him. As I said, he was taking care of business, so I waited (patiently) ;) When he was done, I said, hey Ryan, and handed him the paper. He looked at my quizzically for a solid 15 seconds....I swear to God he thought I was handing him my digits or something! I said...here's that info you wanted...he was like "OH!!" :) He turned it over, and noticed that it was on the back of one of Andy's THH flyers ( I always have a few in my purse, never know when you might want to hand one out :P) I said, you've seen that a time or two, huh? He just smiled and said "I love this guy!"
Then it was time to leave. Matthew went off to pay for his new (again) album. Ryan was just kinda lingering...not by us, but not far. And not really doing anything, just...there. As we were leaving, i sort of walked over to him and touched his arm to get his attention. I just said, thank you. it was great. Drive safely! And he pulled me in for a hug, and said... thanks for coming! You guys drive safe too. Matthew, we'll make a fan out of you yet! Matthew said he really enjoyed it. And Ryan said...wait till you catch one of the Rock Shows ;)
And then we were gone. And then we listened to Ryan Star for 4 out of the 5 hours on the way home :P
